Note: First fanfic written in 2007.
Cyril adjusts to having a grandson.
Note: This is a follow up to "Indecent Proposal".
Cedric's Wonderful Life
Cedric wishes he was never born.
Taking Care of Business
When Cedric goes to a hockey symposium, and Sophia breaks a leg while figure skating, Cyril takes care of his grandson, Forest. Will he survive?
Note: Last fanfic written in 2007.
Cyril's dog/aardvark Snag grows jealous of a new puppy in the house.
Notes: First fanfic written in 2008.
Author's Note: This story was formerly "The Three Little Raccoons," before I decided to expand a little on it. I guess you could say this is my "tribute" to Jay Ward's "Fractured Fairy Tails," Raccoons style! Anyway, I hope you enjoy the new version!
Cast in stories:
- The Three Little Raccoons (as told by Bert)
- A parody of The Three Little Pigs.
- Bert as the Raccoon with the straw house
- Ralph as the Raccoon with the wooden house
- Melissa as the Raccoon with the brick house
- Cyril as the Big Bad Aardvark
- Little Red Riding Raccoon (as told by Melissa)
- A parody of Little Red Riding Hood.
- Melissa as the title character
- Cyril, once again, as the Big Bad Aardvark
- Hansel and Gretel (as told by Ralph)
- Based on the classic tale.
- Ralph as Hansel
- Melissa as Gretel
- Cyril as the mean, old aardvark who lived in the gingerbread house
- Goldie Pig and the Three Raccoons (as told by Lloyd) - Note: the characters break the fourth wall during this story
- A parody of Goldilocks and the Three Bears.
- Ralph as Papa Raccoon
- Melissa as Mama Raccoon
- Bert as Baby Raccoon
- Boyd Pig as Goldie Pig
Stranger in the Night
Guilty Until Proven Innocent
Cyril is accused of assault and battery on Sophia.
Author's Note: This story contains some adult situations in it. Reader discretion is advised. That being said, members of the Raccoons Yahoo! Group may recognize this one as the one that I had apparently "raised some concerns" with. If you would rather read a Raccoons story that looks more like an episode of the show, I'd recommend you hitting the back button on your browser, and skip this story all together.
Cyril and Sophia sit down and have a talk with each other.
Author's Note: This takes place shortly after "Guilty Until Proven Innocent."
Sophia takes a diet to the extreme as she prepares for a figure skating contest.
Cyril is accidentally blinded by Bert's new camera, while Cedric and Sophia try to teach Forest how to walk.
Wedding Bell Blues
Cyril falls for a rich lady aardvark who is only interested in his money.
Room for One More
There's a new baby in the Sneer household, and 4-year-old Forest becomes jealous.
Author's Note: A few notes before we begin. This is my first new Raccoons story since I took the others down on Secondly, this is my first attempt at writing for Bentley and Lisa Raccoon. Just giving you a bit of a warning ahead of time. Also it should be noted that in chapters 4 and 5, Cedric is a bit out of character.
The Phantom of Von Varkenstein Manor
Cyril buys a supposedly haunted manor house, wanting to turn it into a hotel.
Bert's pen-pal from Los Angeles visits the Evergreen Forest, and our heroes have to contend with a gang of animals trying to claim Evergreen Lake.
Author's Note: Just to avoid confusion, this story features some OC's: The Gang of Six, Reggie Drake, and Adelaide Canard. Both Reggie and Adelaide are anthro ducks. Adelaide is Dr. Canard's wife, and Reggie is their grandson (fans of the series will remember Dr. Canard, I'm sure). Also, I make up Dr. Canard's fire name, because I think he was in only two episodes (Last Legs! and Stress Test!), so I'm using some leeway here.
Father Daughter Dance
Lady Baden-Baden's latest social event is a Father Daughter Dance, which brings to mind a painful secret Sophia's hiding about her own father.
Author's Note: I delve into a bit of Sophia's practically nonexistent background in this particular story. Needless to day, it's non canon. On that note, I'd like to mention some brief OC appearances in this story, to avoid confusion. Sophia's mother and sisters are OCs, as well as Melissa's parents (and Melissa's maiden name is something I came up with. It's not canon), and Lady Baden-Baden's niece is an OC as well.
Daddy's Little Girl
Sophia has difficulty deciding whether or not to make amends with her estranged father.
Author's Note: This is a follow up to "Father-Daughter Dance." I go a little in depth with Cyril's childhood, mostly from what I've seen from various episodes, mostly "The Family Secret!." In any case, just a little note to say I'm taking some leeway with it, as I don't know too many of the great details, but that's the beauty of fanfic. Also putting in the author's note so I don't get bombarded with questions like "Is this canon?" or like that there.
Snow White and the Seven Raccoons
The Raccoons and their friends put on their version of Snow White for their old teacher, Miss Primrose, who's retiring.
A parody of classic fairy tale, "Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs".
Note: The cast for "Snow White and the Seven Raccoons" as it follows:
- Cedric Sneer as Prince Charming
- Sophia Sneer (nee Tutu) as Snow White
- Ralph Raccoon as Doc
- Bentley Raccoon as Grumpy
- George Raccoon as Sneezy
- Nicole Raccoon as Sleepy
- Lisa Raccoon as Happy
- Melissa Raccoon as Bashful
- Bert Raccoon as Dopey
- Cyril Sneer as the Wicked King (on his request)
- Lloyd as the Magic Mirror
- Floyd as the Huntspig
- Schaeffer as the storyteller
The Great Peanut Butter Caper
Bert tries to give up peanut butter. Will he survive?
Note: This is the first fanfic since their debut that Forest and Evelyn do not appear.
Author's Note: One of my favorite cartoons growing up was "Chip 'n Dale: Rescue Rangers." I am a huge Disney nut, especially the Classic Disney Era, and Disney television series from 1985 and 1996. In any case, I based this particular story around one of my favorite "Chip 'n Dale: Rescue Rangers" episodes (Mind Your Cheese and Q's).
- Bert Raccoon: Bert is a happy-go-lucky, energetic raccoon with a lot of imagination. Bert has plenty of confidence in his skills, though sometimes he can get carried away. This over-confidence and love for peanut butter sometimes gets him into trouble. He acts younger than Ralph and Melissa, and has a lot more youthful energy. It can be said that he is the same age as Ralph, Melissa and Cedric (his best friend), as they all went to the same school in the same grade. He works as a reporter for the Evergreen Standard (and sometimes does Sophia's social column). He is very loyal to his friends, and can be very mature when it comes to doing things that show his loyalty. He has an affection for Lisa Raccoon. Bert is given a white hockey jersey with a blue and green stripe on each sleeve, an Evergreen tree inside of a blue ring on the front, and the words "Evergreen Raccoons" on the outside of the ring, while on the back had "B. Raccoon" and the number "7", by Mrs. Pig. Before Forest and Evelyn were born, Bert had hoped Cedric and Sophia would name either of them "Bert" (if it was a boy) or "Alberta" (if it was a girl).
- Ralph Raccoon: One of the raccoons who live in the Raccoondominium. He works as the editor for the Evergreen Standard.
- Melissa Ringtail Raccoon: Lives with her husband Ralph and their friend Bert in the Raccoondominium. She works as a photographer for the Evergreen Standard.
- Schaeffer: A large sheepdog who is a friend of the Raccoons. He and Broo are owned by the two kids, Julie and Tommy, and Schaeffer works at the Blue Spruce Café as well as assisting with the Raccoons' paper's technical needs. It was Schaeffer who explained to Forest about how babies are born without making it sound gross around children - he had learned it from Ranger Dan who explained to Julie and Tommy when they wanted to know the same subject.
- Broo: A sheepdog puppy with a star hanging from his collar. Like Schaeffer, he is owned by the kids, Julie and Tommy.
- Cyril Sneer: One of the biggest tycoons in the Evergreen Forest, and the most aggressive one at that. At first he doesn't approve of Cedric wanting to marry Sophia (even going so far as to sabotage it), but eventually caves in, and comes to enjoy being a grandfather (in his own way). In fact, it was Cedric and Sophia's marriage and having children that Cyril began getting more business propositions. He had been trying not to think of his late wife, Sylvia, all these years. In truth, Cyril believed it was a nice gesture on Cedric and Sophia's part to have Evelyn's middle name be Sylvia, but he wouldn't say it.
- Cedric Sneer: Cedric is Cyril Sneer's son and heir, yet he appears to be the complete opposite of his father. He marries his girlfriend Sophia, and they have children of their own, Forest and Evelyn. Just as his best friend Bert like peanut butter, Cedric likes chocolate pudding. When Sophia was about to have Forest, Cedric was practically a nervous wreck, but was a little less than that when Evelyn was born. According to Cyril, it took Cedric 16 hours before he came out of his mother's belly, and he was 9 months of age when he took his first steps.
- Sophia Sneer (née Tutu): Cedric's ditzy girlfriend/wife. Eventually becomes mother to Forest and Evelyn. Still works as a social columnist at the Evergreen Standard. Some residents get down on Sophia for being a blabbermouth, but is considered by her friends to be the best figure skater in the Evergreen Forest, which is why she won the Olympics before. Doesn't like to be called "Sophie" (people called her that all the time when she was little), but allows her mom and Melissa's father to do so. Held a dark secret about her father, and a sever grudge against him - that is until her father decided to make amends with her. According to her parents, Sophia was 15 months of age when she took her first steps.
- The Pigs (Lloyd (Pig One), Floyd (Pig Two) and Boyd (Pig Three)): Cyril Sneer's bumbling henchmen and assistants. Like most middle management they are easily intimidated by their own boss but likewise are not above harshness towards their subordinates. They're extremely loyal to Cedric (and later on Sophia, Forest and Evelyn) and when they're not following Cyril's orders, they're generally trying to make themselves rich (often at Cyril's expense); and once in a while, they'll even use a paper clip to break into their boss' liquor cabinet. One of the Pigs watches a show called Pigyver, a character who uses various tricks to get out of tricky situations.
- Snag: Bluepoint Ridgeback Retriever belonging to Cyril and Cedric Sneer. Has blue fur and has a nose similar to his owners. He is shown to be aggressive to the Pigs, especially when he is loyal to Cyril. When Forest is first born, Snag was at first aggressive toward him, but eventually the baby won him over. Usually, Snag slept with Cyril, but after Forest was born he went back and forth between his master's and the baby's room. Whether he feels the same way about Evelyn is a mystery at this point.
- The Bears: Cyril Sneer's additional henchmen, workers, spies, etc., anything that suits his needs.
- Dr. Herbie Canard: A bird who is Cyril's doctor. His grandson Reggie calls him "Doc", mostly for two reasons - 1, he is a doctor, and he kind of reminds Reggie of Doc in Disney's 1937 film Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs (it may be the glasses); and 2, Reggie loves to bug him by saying "What's up Doc" to him. Dr. Canard only allows Reggie to get away with it, and no one else.
- Mr. Knox: Cyril's usual rival in the tycoon business, a southern crocodile/business mogul. Married to Lady Baden-Baden, and owner of the TV company K.N.O.X. TV.
- Lady Baden-Baden: A wealthy, melodramatic hen who is Mr. Knox's wife.
- Mrs. Suey-Ellen Pig: The Pigs' mother and a friend of Cyril's. Sometimes babysits Forest and Evelyn whenever the Sneers are away somewhere. She's also a great cook, and knows her boys' favorite treats - chocolate chip cookies and brownies.
- Lisa Raccoon: Ralph and Melissa's niece and Bentley's big sister. Is also Bert Raccoon's love interest. Lisa is a superb basketball player. She helps Forest when he becomes jealous of his new sister Evelyn.
- Bentley Raccoon: Ralph and Melissa's nephew, Bentley is an expert with computers. Idolizes Bert as a big brother.
- Mr. Willow: A polar bear who runs Willow's General Store. Has known Reggie Drake from when Reggie was still living in the Evergreen Forest. Participated in Lady Baden-Baden's father-daughter dance with his niece.
- George Raccoon: Lisa and Bentley's father and Ralph's big brother. Works as a cook/host of "Chef Surprise" on K.N.O.X. TV. Has trouble with staying off peoples' feet on the dance floor. Lisa notes that George's feet should be "registered weapons".
- Nicole Raccoon: George's wife and Lisa and Bentley's mother. Nicole has a definite French accent. Occasional babysitter for Forest and Evelyn.
Series Original Characters
Characters created by the author herself.
- Forest Cyril Sneer: Cedric and Sophia's first born child. Born on June 23 - came out of his mother's belly 14 hours after 3:15 am. As an infant, he had a strange way of showing his affection for his grandpa, Cyril, which was yanking his nose. He even laughed when Cyril lost his temper. Hated creamed spinach and strained peas with a passion as an infant and only liked applesauce. Was 4-years-old when his baby sister, Evelyn, was born. Has the same hair color as his father (Cedric) and the same eye color as his mother (Sophia). Like his father, Forest has taken a liking to chocolate pudding, as well as peanut butter. His favorite toy is a stuffed aardvark named "Harvey" which Melissa had made for him when he was an infant. Cyril, Cedric and Sophia are still working on Forest's manners. He still sucks on his thumb once in a while, but only when he's scared.
- Evelyn Sylvia Sneer: Forest's baby sister, born in March 11 before 4:37 am. Named after Sophia's grandmother and Cedric's deceased mother. According to Cyril and Cedric, Evelyn is the first female Sneer to be born in the family. She has the same colored hair as her mom (Sophia). Although she can't walk yet, she is still able to keep up with her big brother, Forest, while crawling on all fours. Evelyn also has been shown to pull on one of Bert's ears. Unlike her big brother when he was her age, Evelyn is very picky about who holds her.
- Daniel Reginald "Reggie" Drake, Jr.: Grandson of Dr. Canard (whom he calls "Doc"), and Bert's pen-pal from California, but is originally from the Evergreen Forest. Parents are hockey player Danny Drake and Millie Canard. According to Bert, Reggie rides a motorcycle, plays hockey and saxophone, and like Bert, loves peanut butter. Studies at UCLA (University of California, Los Angeles), taking courses in medicine. He is thin, with tan feathers and dark brown hair. He knows both Mr. Willow and Cyril Sneer (Cyril is still sore at Reggie for hitting a hockey puck through one of his windows ten years ago). One of the reasons his grandfather doesn't want him to play hockey is because Reggie has asthma. Reggie has also shown displays of temper, especially when someone insults his father. Has a hockey jersey with the number "18".
- Adelaide Canard: Dr. Canard's wife, Reggie calls her "Nana". According to Reggie, Adelaide makes the best peanut butter cookies.
- Loretta Tutu: Sophia's mother. Forest and Evelyn's grandmother on their mom's side. Her hair is chin length, and wears a dark blue shirt and black pants. She loves her daughters dearly and her grandchildren.
- Myrna Tutu: Sophia's intelligent older sister (by 3 years). Her blue hair is short, cut in a pageboy style, and she wears thick, horned-rimmed glasses. She wears a white blouse under a yellow sweater, a gray pleated skirt, white knee socks, and brown loafers. Tends to use large words. Was named after their great-grandmother.
- Stephanie Tutu: Sophia's athletic younger sister (by 5 years). She is the captain of her local baseball team. Wears her hair in a ponytail, with a few strands coming loose. She wears a dark pink baseball uniform, and baseball cleats. Forest calls her "Aunt Steffie".
- Chief Forest Ranger Dan: Lives near the Evergreen Forest with his children, Julie and Tommy.
- Julie: Ranger Dan's eldest child, who stumbles into the Raccoons' world by mistake.
- Tommy: Julie's little brother who sometimes says that she thinks she knows everything.
- Miss Primrose: Bert, Ralph, Melissa, Cedric and even Cyril Sneer's old schoolteacher. Miss Primrose now has to walk with a cane as she has developed arthritis. At first was considering retiring, but decided to take on a part time position at Evergreen Elementary, teaching morning kindergarten, which Forest would be in.
Minor Series Original Characters
- Arthur Badgerton: A big business man.
- Fiona Foxworthy: Badgerton's secretary. Like Mr. Mammoth's sidekick, she usually speaks for Mr. Badgerton.
- Aardvarkian Ivannovich Horatio Needlemyer Smith: Called "Ardie" for short, he is Cedric's guardian angel.
- Dr. Samson: Forest's doctor when Forest was a baby.
- Spot: A small brown and white puppy that Bert gave Forest on his 1st birthday, but caused trouble around Sneer Mansion.
- Silas Morales: An old high school aardvark friend of Cyril's who assaulted Sophia. Apparently Silas was the kind of person who always got what he wanted (no questions asked), and when he couldn't, he would get rough. He is known to have a temper, but took anger management courses. Despite his age, he has managed to remain physically fit. He is tall and thin, and like Cyril, smokes cigarettes. He also has a mean pitch, called the "Morales Meteor". When Cyril saw Silas with a bat, looming over Sophia, he threatened Silas to leave (which led to others to think Cyril assault Sophia), and even threatened to fed Silas to Snag unless he left.
- Wilbur Wolf: A lawyer Cyril had hired for the case of the "Assault on Sophia Sneer".
- Judge James Owlsen: Judge of the court on the case of the "Assault on Sophia Sneer". Apparently hates TV lawyer wannabes.
- Dorothy Ham: A pig who is an Olympic figure skating champion. The Pigs are big fans of hers. She has brown hair cut in a wedge, and wears a blue and magenta skating dress and white figure skates. It was she who called out for an ambulance when Sophia collapsed on the ice.
- Peggy Lemming: A figure skater who is mentioned a number of times. She is Sophia's idol since she was younger.
- Carrie Anne Snodgress: A snobby, thin, blond female aardvark from Sophia's high school. She was Sophia's rival in the skating contest. Is not impressed with Sophia being friends with raccoons (considers them fleabags and wouldn't be caught dead associating with them). Apparently in their high school years, Carrie Anne was head cheerleader, homecoming queen, the most popular girl in school, and her boyfriend was captain of their football team. During the contest, she sent a spray of silver glitter all over the place (including Bert's peanut butter). Luckily for Sophia, Carrie Anne wasn't even placed (making her throw a fit), and was disqualified for unsportsmanlike conduct, for laughing the way she did when Sophia had collapsed.
- Douglas Wallace: Owner of Wallace Inc., Douglas Wallace is a walrus who Cyril tried to do business with for years. He'd also been doing business with Mr. Knox.
- Rita Ritzley: Owner of Ritzley Inc., a young dark-haired female aardvark who was interested in Cyril for his money. Her limo driver was called Stames. In two years, Ritzley Inc. had made at least seven trillion dollars, and their profits were still climbing. She hates children, and is not fond of raccoons (considering them having brains the size of peanuts). Unfortunately, she made the mistake of calling Cyril "old geezer" and Cedric "Four Eyes" on their wedding day, resulting in Cyril calling the whole thing off. Rita has sense swore to sue Cyril for everything he had, but hasn't been seen again since.
- Elroy Von Varkenstein: Great-great-great-great grandson of Count Verner Von Varkenstein, and the last of the Von Varkensteins at that. His mother died when he was a baby and he lived with his father and great-grandfather. At age 12, Elroy's father died, so his great-grandfather practically raised him. After graduating high school and leaving for college, his grand-grandfather passed on and the manor they lived in fell into disrepair. The city soon put it up for sale, and everyone interested in buying it was going to tear it down, but not wanting it to happen, Elroy pretended to be the ghost of Count Verner Von Varkenstein to scare people away. Cyril had planned on making Von Varkenstein Manor into a hotel, until Forest came up with to make it an historical landmark, which the Historical Society did. Now Elroy is happy, and has taken up the position of tour guide of Von Varkenstein Manor (since he knows the manor inside and out) in exchange for room and board at the house (and Cyril doesn't even have to pay him).
- Gang of Six: A gang who wanted to claim Evergreen Lake for their own. After a hockey game against the Evergreen Raccoons, they were invited to play with them anytime.
- Slick Slystone: A fox, who is leader of the gang.
- Brucie Badger: A badger.
- Winks Weasel: A female weasel.
- Buzz Bucktooth: A beaver.
- Prickles Pine: A female porcupine.
- Punk Skunk: A skunk.
- Daniel Reginald "Danny" Drake: Reggie's dad, number 29& on the hockey team known as the Anaheim Mighty Ducks (and a member of the AHL - the Animal Hockey League), and inventor of the Zig Zagging Turbine Twister Slap Shot move (usually done with Michael Finniganbeginnigan). Wasn't famous until Reggie was about 6-7. Reggie notes that he and his dad toss a little football on Saturdays (when he doesn't have to work). Was 21 years old when he met Millie Canard.
- Mildred "Millie" Canard: Dr. Herbie and Adelaide Canard's daughter, and Reggie's mom. Was 17 years old when he met Danny Drake, fresh out of school. She wanted to become a doctor, but when Danny came along, she had to give up her college scholarship to become a full time mom. She flew up from California for Lady Baden-Baden's father-daughter dance, where she danced with her father, Dr. Herbie Canard.
- Great Uncle Herman Canard: Dr. Herbie Canard's brother and Reggie's late uncle. He was a hockey fanatic and a heckler - yelling at the players all the time, usually criticizing the visiting team and even gave the home team some whammies. Died while still recovering from bypass surgery.
- Jackson Burke: A hockey player from another team who threatened to harm a 10-year-old Reggie while he was heckling him.
- Marshall Hogwash: CEO of Hogwash Wine Corp. An old friend of Mrs. Pig (went to their junior prom together), someone who Cyril tried to do business with for years. Owns a vineyard down in the Napa Valley and another in France. Is a chronic drinker.
- Willamena Hogwash: Marshall's wife. Feels the same way Sophia does about people who just can't seem to stop once they get started drinking wine. Is often embarrassed when her husband gets drunk and passing out.
- Charles J. "Chuck" Ringtail: Melissa's father. High school friend of Nathan Tutu. Likes to give people he knows nicknames - "Lissie" for Melissa, and "Sophie" for Sophia.
- Roberta Ringtail: Melissa's mother.
- Nathan Tutu: Sophia's alcoholic father, a habit which he'd got from his father. Worked in retail and watched every single televised sporting event known to man. He only wanted sons, but after Stephanie was born, he refused to believe they were his kids. He would get violent when drunk and would hit Loretta and their children. When Sophia was 10, Nathan left them and never came back. No one from either side of Sophia's family had seen him until 15 years later when he moved into his brother, David, when he began to suffer from severe liver damage. When he learned that it was terminal, Nathan decided to make amends with his wife and daughters.
- Shelby: Lady Baden-Baden's pre-teen niece.
- David Tutu: Nathan's brother and Sophia, Myrna and Stephanie's uncle. Looks slightly like Cyril, except for the hair color. Lives just outside of the Evergreen Forest.
- Rocky Calone: An aardvark who is one of the toughest gangsters in the underworld. Has two sidekicks - Muscles (a giant, muscle bound rat), and Slim (a skinny lizard).
- In "Grandpa Cyril", Bert boasts that he was playing hockey even before he was born.
- In "Taking Care of Business", Boyd mentions a kids show called "Barfy the Big Blue Salamander", which is a possible reference to Barney the Dinosaur.
- In "Bedtime Stories" the characters tell various spoofs of - "The Three Little Pigs", "Little Red Riding Hood", "Hansel and Gretel" and "Goldilocks and the Three Bears".
- Dorothy Ham and Peggy Lemming are parodies of figure skaters Dorothy Hamill and Peggy Fleming.
- "The Phantom of Von Varkenstein Manor" makes various references to Scooby-Doo. It also has the Fibber McGee's Closet gag.
- In 'Indecent Proposal", Melissa has a record with "Rita Coolidge", who voiced Melissa In the first two specials of the series, "The Christmas Raccoons," and "The Raccoons On Ice."