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Paperback Hero!
Season 3, Episode 2
Air Date 1988
Previous The Prism of Zenda!
Next The Chips Are Down!

Paperback Hero! is the 23rd episode of The Raccoons.


When famous explorer and nonfiction author Sir Malcolm Havelock arrives in the Evergreen Forest, Bert is bent on coming along on his next expedition. Cyril hears about the expedition, and the possibility of finding treasure, and decides to invest in it. But Sir Malcolm has a dark secret...


Sir Malcolm Havelock, Bert's literary hero, descends upon the Evergreen Forest and while he bewitches and entralls the denizens of the forest with tales of his adventures, Cedric deducts that all of his adventures are simply that tales.

Later, Cyril commissions Sir Malcolm to go on an expedition, despite the fact that Cedric's assessment was correct: Sir Malcolm has never explored in his life. Sir Malcolm, realizing that Cedric knows this, communes with the erstwhile aardvark as to what he should do about Bert's "hero worship" of him.

Bert discovers that Sir Malcolm has never been on an adventure, but despite this revelation, he tells the author he admires him anyway, as he took him on trips via his imagination. Cyril however isn't pleased when he discovers Sir Malcolm isn't an explorer and rips up the contract he made with Sir Malcolm but this of course backfires on Cyril when Sir Malcolm's book still sell well and Cyril could have made millions from it if he hadn't tore up the contract.




  • First appearance of Sir Malcolm Havelock, only voiced by Len Carlson. He would later make a silent cameo in Search and Rescue!
  • Second appearance of the Companion Ship.
  • Pig One refers to Sir Malcolm's latest book as a New York Swine bestseller. The New York Swine is a parody of the New York Times newspaper.
  • There is no narration in this episode.


Sir Malcolm Havelock: I can categorically state that these are the best peanut butter sandwiches I've ever had!
Bert: Aw, it's just a talent!

Lady Baden-Baden: Ooh, what an inspiration you are to all of us Sir Malcolm! I do hope you stay and answer some questions from our audience! Oh, there's one now! Yes?
Man In Audience 1: Ever get trapped in quicksand Sir Malcolm?
Sir Malcolm: Er, not permenantely! Next?
Man In Audience 2: Do you ever get lost Sir Malcolm?
Sir Malcolm: Heh heh, not permenantely! Next.

Cyril: I'm here to tell you that I, Cyril Sneer, will finance Sir Malcolm's next expedition. It's just my, er, small contribution towards the expedition of this wide and mysterious world of ours. For the benefit of humanity.
Ralph: (To Melissa) Of course, the treasure has nothing to do with it!

Cedric: Do you plan to wait until the rainy season is over before you start for Lingodo Sir Malcolm?
Sir Malcolm: Oh, of course old boy, yes! Can't travel in the rainy season, oh no! That ends in May...
Cedric: I thought the rain started in May.
Sir Malcolm: Oh yes that's right! How could I have forgotten?
Cedric: I'm asking myself the same question Sir Malcolm...

Ralph: Bert's certainly gone a bit overboard on the story about Sir Malcolm. It reads like one of his books; good story, but very few facts.
Cedric: What do you mean Ralph?
Ralph: Well, I've tried supporting evidence for some of Sir Malcolm's claims, but there's just no proof.
Cedric: And some of the places he talks about aren't even on the map.
Bert: Of course they're not on the maps! They're lost cities Cedric!


Main article: Paperback Hero!/Gallery


Main article: Paperback Hero!/Credits

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